Down memory lane . . .

Thank you Sarah, Cheryl, and Trisha for your comments on the previous post. I have much to say in response, but for now, thank you for sharing with me your wisdom, your empathy, and your encouragement to press on during this season. Loving God is the easy part; trusting Him (in everything) is the hard part. I think it is our trust He values even more than our love. (More later . . .)

Our computer recently was in the throes of a painful death, so we had to buy a new computer--Rob spent HOURS and HOURS transferring all the data/pictures/etc. from the old to the new. In the transition, he unearthed some old pictures from a church family retreat in Tyler way back when (maybe 1999?) I can't remember where the retreat was held or anything specifically that we did, although we apparently played board games, went fishing and canoeing, and did something with cardboard and glue guns. A surefire recipe for a great retreat!

I have to share a few of these retreat pictures with you Tyler people; several of the children in these pictures have now graduated from high school or college. It boggles my small mind. (You'll notice I didn't add any pictures that I am in. Three words: very bad hair. I'm not all that vain, but there is no point advertising something that unflattering on the www.)

For these friends in Tyler, who happen to be in some of our very favorite families:
The Bulls: in their last Christmas picture, their oldest son (blue shirt) was almost as tall as the dad.
Trisha and Alex (who is now 8)--my very happy friend and her beautiful baby!
The Walla family: our adoption mentors. These boys are also now very grown up and very wonderful.
The Millers: Their youngest daughter would be born a few years after this picture was taken; the oldest are now in college. (Sarah, I need to hook you up with these girls!)
The Gorenflo's: Their daughter is in college and I just read in a recent church bulletin that their son graduated from college. Great family.
We just got a graduation invitation from Travis, the young boy in the red shirt. A great kid!

If it seems like I'm using hyperbole ("great family", "great kid", etc.), all I can say is that you would just have to know these folks. They are certainly more wonderful than my words can depict, and I sure do miss them!

Thank you, Lord, for intersecting our lives--even if only for a short time--with these people. Love you guys!
Jana

An undivided heart

Several years ago, our friend Ben put the words to Psalm 86:11 to music, creating a powerful song for our worship time: "Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name."

I have been thinking about that Psalm tonight, and it really struck a raw nerve.

We are facing some major decisions in the very near future, and behind those decisions--for me--are several years of living with a VERY divided heart. I don't know how else to describe it.

I thought that by this time in my life, I would have it more together spiritually. During the last few years, I feel as if I have regressed instead of grown, and that my "life purpose" is less clear than it has ever been. I am experiencing less Christian community now than at any other point in my life, and the disconnectedness I feel (branching out in just about every direction)is painful. I've even been thrashing around in the guilt of my past life, slogging around in the pain of lost opportunities and sin. I really don't question God's faithfulness to me; but I am pleading for a time of refreshing and re-energizing. And please, Lord, direction.

So here is my question, to anyone reading this post: What has restored your soul in lean and very dry seasons of your life?

Jana

Welcome to Second Grade!

By some creative math and logic/justification that would make his daddy proud, Luke figures that since he does not HAVE to go to school tomorrow, then his school year is over and therefore, he is no longer a first grader, which must mean that he is a SECOND GRADER!! So I present to you the first picture of your second grader playing in the sprinkler.

Hey, if you can't run through the sprinkler during the summer, when can you do it?


I am reminded often that while I do not feel like I should be old enough to have a second grader (I am. Trust me, I really am!) I am extremely blessed to have this child as my second grader. I love you!

They're Here!

Jana and the kids made it back safely. They had a great time. Lots of cute pictures from the rodeo and the parade. I'll let Jana add those.

Luke made it to the rodeo all four nights and ate more than his share of carnival food, at least that was my take based on what he said he did at the rodeo. The only thing he mentioned was food and the clowns. Oh, and the bullrider that got stepped on by the bull.

I cooked hamburgers and we ate outside. I had added some plants and this...

It's not the greatest pictures, but in my defense, it is hard to snap a shot of a swinging target.

Here's a picture of both of them.


I am glad they are all home. I have missed them.

Flower Pictures

Julie's pictures of her garden got me motivated to post a few of my own. None of these were from the almost dead shelf, however, and the big picture of my yard doesn't compare to the big picture of Julie's yard.

Attacked by the Bug!

The stomach bug, that is. Grace had it first, then Jana got it the first part of last week. Luke had it last Thursday and based on how long it took him to get it from Jana, I was thinking I had dodged it. WRONG!

I was in bed by 6:00 last night - not that I slept any.

I am feeling better today, so maybe I can get that list of projects done before Jana and the kids come home Sunday.

Weird stuff

There must be something about Mondays lately--these seem to be the only days I get any work done and get my brain turned toward blogging.

If you read Trisha's comment on the last post, you have at least one hypothesis for why we spent the last week hugging the porcelain throne. It was awful. It was dreadful. I don't remember feeling this sick in my adult life, which means I have been pretty lucky so far. In the middle of the worst night, my life flashed before my eyes, and I said to no one in particular, "I never thought that this would be the way I would go." Only Rob has managed to elude the vomit monster, but we fear he's still lurking around here. We're on high alert!

Random notes:
1. My mom ran for "place 7" on the school board, and she is now its newest member! She ran a good campaign (radio ads, signs in yards, newspaper ads, word of mouth), and when the results came in late Saturday night, she was the undisputed winner, beating her opponent almost 2 to 1. Congratulations, Mom! After almost 40 years in education, you do know a thing or two--your experience, your integrity, and your work ethic will be inspirational. I'm proud of you!

2. Luke finally got a haircut (he was starting to look like a hobbit), and re-discovered his ears. You should have heard him squealing when he looked in the mirror: "My ears! Augh! I look like a leprechaun! No, it looks like there are two feet attached to me head! Augh!" He was laughing hysterically at the size of his ears (which look perfectly normal to me), and I love that here's a boy who can laugh at his ears, and who has a very healthy ego! I could learn a thing or two from him!

3. Mother's Day came and went with nary a post. Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers and grandmothers and sisters in our lives. You are very loved! And a special salute to our birth-mothers; because of their courage, painful sacrifice, vision, and ultimately, their faith, I get to be a mother. Not a day goes by without a thought of you.

A glorious Monday to you all; may the Lord give you peace!
Jana

Monday, Monday, la la, la la la la . . .

I thought I better post something before our two readers give up on us entirely.

I don't really have anything to write about it.

Well, that's not really true. I have A LOT of things jumbled up in my head, but nothing that I can get unraveled right now in the space of this blog. So, I'll give a quick update on the family:

Luke is consistently Luke--in our family, he is the most consistent member. He is always moving, always happy, always ready to "do something!", always hungry, and always never ready to go to bed. He has the end-of-year countdown going, and as he says with confidence, "I'm already practically a 2nd grader." He is, and I can't believe that. He has a really weird field trip this Friday. Here's how it works: on the first week of school, we sent a ziploc bag with money (a dollar bill, some change) for them to use all year for their math units. So, this Friday, they are going to take that crumpled, germy bag of money and go to Party City to spend it. (Why Party City? That's the weird part of this trip to me. Party City has all kinds of napkins, paper plates, plastic anything to eat with and on, and decorations. Very little that can be purchased for $2.85.) Then, they will be routed to Rosa's for lunch--a Sprite and a bean and cheese burritos. All parents are HIGHLY encouraged to attend--I have no class this Friday, so guess where I will be? At Party City, scrounging around for something to buy for $2.85. My guess is that we'll leave with candy.

Grace is getting to be more and more a two year old every day--and I mean that in all its goodness and all of its negatives! I'm sure that if she wasn't so adorable, she would have earned a few more spankings so far. She loves the words, "mine" and "no" and "aughhghhhhhhhhhh" yelled at the top of her lungs whenever her brother does something that she doesn't like. She also likes to point out anything that is "cute"--and by george, there are a lot of cute things in this world, and I have now been directed to look at just about every one of them. Love it.

Rob is finishing his classes this week; we are all relieved. I'll let him blog about that; he has done well, and is trying to decide what to take this summer.

I'm wrapping things up for the end of the semester, and I can't wait to jump into my swimming suit. Only the first part of the previous statement is true.

I can't wait, however, to be home with my two children and just hang out with them. Not only do I really love them, I really like them.

That's all for now.
Jana