Interesting news

I read two articles this week that made me wonder more and more about what the future holds for my physical body. The first, in today's Wall Street Journal, dealt with the long-term effects of depression on the brain. Scientists have linked episodes of depression in mid-life to increased cases of dementia and alzheimer's in later life. I got depressed just reading about it. OH, NO . . .

The second article, posted on CNN.com, was titled something like "Beauty after 40." Since I will be turning 40 this year, I clicked on the link, thinking I might read some skincare or makeup tips. Instead, there was a cartoon image of a woman with a moustache, which apparently is one of the many interesting physical changes we women will get to enjoy in abundance in our later years. The other changes include: an increase in facial hair ALL OVER the face, which the writer describes as thick peach fuzz. As we age, this fuzz will become dramatically heavier, especially on the chin and above the lip. The article suggested to avoid wearing make-up base, as the creamy liquid will mat in the hair. Lovely. As your lumberjack appearance is developing, the hair on your eyebrows and head will begin to thin. (On a very funny note, the author mentioned a follicle transplant surgery you could undergo. Hair follicles from the back of your head are transplanted into your eyebrows. This is a great solution, except that since your eyebrow hair is now head hair, it will grow like hair, and you will have to begin giving your eyebrows regular "haircuts.")

Additionally, you can expect your ears and nose to continue to grow, eventually becoming disproportionate to the rest of your facial features. Sun damage and inadequate skincare will make these features even more misshapen. And have you heard the phrase "long in the tooth"? This, too, applies to beauty after 40. Your gums will begin to recede (no matter how many trips you have made to the dentist), and your teeth will appear to be bigger with each passing year. (For someone like me who already has big teeth, this change will make me look like one of those caricatures you can pay to have drawn of yourself at places like Six Flags. Think BIG TEETH.)

All in all, after the age of 40, apparently we women cease to look like women and begin to increasingly resemble werewolves. It won't be pretty, girls, but at least we'll have our senses of humor!

Jana